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\u30fc Amelie<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Steering My Own Ship<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Yesterday, I went to school for the first time in a long while. It was still spring break, so it wasn’t a full return \u2014 and yet, I came home utterly exhausted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I realized, again, that what had led me to take leave is still living inside me. I’m still afraid. That much is clear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My stomach was unsettled even before I left the house, and by the time I got home, my skin was covered in red hives. No matter how much my mind says, “Just push through,”<\/em> the body is always honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I had planned to journal that evening, but after my bath, I couldn’t even keep my eyes open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A school is a place filled with all kinds of people \u2014 and all kinds of emotions. Yesterday, there were fewer people than usual, and still, so much came flooding in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The hunger for approval. Jealousy. Calculation. Self-righteousness. Love for children. A sense of justice. Pure, sincere feelings. The beautiful and the not-so-beautiful, all swirling together in one place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I tend to be the one who listens \u2014 the one who receives. And without realizing it, I find things being left inside me that were never mine to carry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perhaps it’s because I don’t yet have a clear boundary within myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But from now on. I want to steer my own ship. Not to be swept away, but to find my way back to my own sense of self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maybe this deep exhaustion from yesterday was a sign \u2014 that I had almost been carried off by the current.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What I’ve begun to understand in my mind, I will now practice, slowly, in the reality of daily life. To feel my own emotions \u2014 and to truly receive them. And to observe the emotions of others with a little more distance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That is what I’m thinking about, as I make my way toward returning to work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Amelie<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u6628\u65e5\u3001\u4e45\u3057\u3076\u308a\u306b\u5b66\u6821\u3078\u884c\u304d\u307e\u3057\u305f\u3002 \u307e\u3060\u6625\u4f11\u307f\u4e2d\u3067\u3001\u672c\u683c\u7684\u306a\u5fa9\u5e30\u3068\u3044\u3046\u308f\u3051\u3067\u306f\u3042\u308a\u307e\u305b\u3093\u304c\u3001\u305d\u308c\u3067\u3082\u3001\u3068\u3066\u3082\u75b2\u308c\u307e\u3057\u305f\u3002 \u4f11\u8077\u306e\u304d\u3063\u304b\u3051\u3068\u306a\u3063\u305f\u51fa\u6765\u4e8b\u304c\u3001\u307e\u3060\u81ea\u5206\u306e\u4e2d\u306b\u6b8b\u3063\u3066\u3044\u308b\u306e\u3060\u3068\u3001\u6628\u65e5\u6539\u3081\u3066\u611f\u3058\u307e\u3057\u305f\u3002\u3084\u3063\u3071\u308a\u3001\u307e […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-154","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yorimichi-diary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yorimichi-diary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yorimichi-diary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yorimichi-diary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yorimichi-diary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=154"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/yorimichi-diary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":155,"href":"https:\/\/yorimichi-diary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154\/revisions\/155"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yorimichi-diary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=154"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yorimichi-diary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=154"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yorimichi-diary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=154"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}